What Does the Bible Say About Sex for Pleasure?

Let’s be honest, a lot of us grew up hearing that sex was for procreation, or that pleasure should come with a side of guilt. So when couples get married, it’s no surprise that many are left wondering...

Is it okay to really enjoy sex? Like, is it selfish? Does God even want that?

The answer? Absolutely yes.

The Bible doesn't just allow pleasure - it celebrates it. Here's how we know, and how you can start embracing pleasure as part of God's beautiful design for intimacy in marriage.

1. God literally wrote a steamy love poem into Scripture

Have you read Song of Songs? Because... whew. That book doesn’t mess around.

It’s filled with desire, pursuit, body praise, and poetic phrases like, “Your love is more delightful than wine” and “Eat, friends, and drink - drink your fill of love.”

There’s no mention of babies in that book. Just two people delighting in each other — and that tells us something really important. God isn’t shy about pleasure. In fact, He built it on purpose.

2. Pleasure is part of God’s design - not something to feel guilty about

He created nerve endings, hormones, and bodies that respond to touch and desire. Pleasure wasn’t a design flaw - it was His idea.

The Bible talks about mutual satisfaction, not obligation. 1 Corinthians 7 talks about spouses not withholding from one another, not as a demand, but as a mutual, loving gift. That means both spouses are meant to enjoy sex, not just get it over with.

Let’s stop treating pleasure like a dirty word and start treating it like the gift God meant it to be.

3. If pleasure’s been hard for you - that’s okay too

Some of us enter marriage with trauma, shame, or confusion around sex. Maybe you've never had an orgasm. Maybe you’re not even sure what feels good. Maybe sex has been painful, and you're wondering if it's always going to be like this..

First, you're not broken. You're not failing. And you're definitely not alone.

If pain has been part of your story, we highly recommend connecting with Jess from Pain Free Intimacy - she's a Christian occupational therapist who specializes in vaginismus and painful sex. Her work is practical, hope-filled, and totally faith-aligned. Total gem of a human.

And if pleasure has just felt confusing or intimidating? You’ll love our Figuring Out What I Like Guide — it’s designed to help you explore, communicate, and discover what brings you joy in the bedroom (no pressure, no shame).

4. It’s okay if this takes time

Pleasure is something you can grow into. You don’t have to “arrive” by your wedding night. This is a lifelong journey of learning your body, your spouse, and how to create space for intimacy in every season.

If that feels overwhelming, start simple:

– Touch each other with curiosity

– Laugh if things feel awkward

– Try a new position, toy, or setting (check out Married Dance for a great Christian toy shop! Use the coupon code KINGDOMSEXUALITY for 10% off)

– Take pressure off the orgasm

– Celebrate small wins

Sex isn’t just a physical act - it’s a bonding, vulnerable, spiritual one too. So go slow. Be kind. And keep choosing each other.

Want help making intimacy a fun, everyday rhythm?

Check out our Unite & Ignite Club - it’s like a daily nudge to stay connected, even when life gets busy or the mood is hard to find.

Here’s what’s inside:

– Daily intimacy challenges

– One pre-planned date night per month

– Monthly prize opportunities

No pressure. No shame. Just fun, faith-filled ideas to keep you pursuing each other with joy.

👉 Join here

Resources to Help You Embrace Pleasure

– HER TURN Sex Challenge: Focused on wives, with daily connection ideas that don’t require intercourse

– Figuring Out What I Like Guide: Helps you understand your own body and communicate preferences

– Orgasm Page: Full of blog posts and insights about pleasure, orgasm, and how to discover what feels good

FAQs

Is it okay to want sex just because it feels good? Yes! That’s kind of the point. God didn’t make sex boring — He made it beautiful.

What if I’m not sure I even like sex yet? Totally valid. There might be layers to explore — physical, emotional, or spiritual. Try starting with HER TURN or reach out to Jess from Pain Free Intimacy if you’ve experienced pain.

Can pleasure and holiness go together? 100%. You don’t have to choose between loving Jesus and loving sex. In marriage, they’re meant to go hand in hand.