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Before "I Do"

Engagement Tips We Wish We Knew



Today, we are diving deep into a topic that many of us may wish we had more guidance on during our own engagements: creating a foundation for intimacy within the sanctity of marriage.


Embracing the Excitement and Navigating the Stress


Engagement is an incredibly joyous time, full of excitement, anticipation, and dreams of the future. However, it can also be a period filled with uncertainty, stress, and a multitude of questions. You may wonder, "When is the right time to discuss intimacy and the wedding night?" or "What if we discover we're not ideal roommates?" and "How can we prepare ourselves to handle conflict when it arises?" These questions are normal and entirely valid. Be sure to discuss your questions ahead of time- perhaps with your pastor or a trusted mentor couple.


On Waiting for the 'Right' Time


A common concern for many Christian couples revolves around the wedding night. Many feel pressured to have intercourse on the first night, believing it to be an unwritten rule. We'd like to debunk this myth. In fact, we advise that you wait until you both feel naturally inclined towards intimacy. Each couple is different, and what matters most is mutual comfort and readiness.


Understand Each Other's Bodies


Knowing your own and your partner's anatomy can significantly enhance your future intimate experiences. Take the time to learn about each other's bodies in an open, respectful, and informed manner. This understanding can lead to greater mutual respect and enhanced intimacy.

Listen to "Deep Dive Into Anatomy" episode.


Understanding Birth Control


Typically, it's common advice for women to begin taking birth control a few months before marriage. But it's important to note that birth control can affect mood and libido. Discuss this with your healthcare provider and ensure you're both informed about the potential impacts.

Listen to "Female Cycle and Pleasure" episode.


Importance of Trusted Mentors


Engagement and dating can be tricky to navigate. Having trusted mentors to guide you and hold you accountable can be an invaluable resource. Their experiences, wisdom, and perspectives can provide you with insights that can help strengthen your relationship.


Conversations About 'Sex-pectations'


It's important to have open conversations about your expectations for intimacy, not just before the wedding, but also after. These discussions can help prevent misunderstandings and align your expectations, leading to a healthier intimate relationship.

Listen to "Great Sex-pectations" episode.


The Wedding: A Starting Point


Remember, the wedding isn't the finish line; it's just the beginning of your journey together. Approach your marriage as an ongoing adventure, where learning, growing, and evolving together is key.


The Power of Premarital Counseling


Premarital counseling is an invaluable tool. It can provide you with a strong foundation and skills to navigate the many aspects of marriage, from conflict resolution to understanding each other's needs.


The Power of Words


Communication in a relationship is paramount. Be explicit in expressing your needs, desires, and boundaries to ensure mutual understanding. And remember, praise should be shared publicly, while any necessary correction should be handled privately.


Other Considerations


While planning for marriage, you may also need to navigate complex family dynamics, plan your finances together, and possibly cope with the anxiety if an engagement is not happening as quickly as you would like. Remember, every journey is unique, and there's no universally 'right' timeline.


We hope this post provides you with some valuable insights and practical tips for your engagement. If you want to hear us chat more in detail about this, be sure to listen to our episode: Advice We Wish We'd Gotten During Engagement.

Remember, this is an exciting time and preparing for a marriage grounded in Christian values and mutual respect will set you up for a lifetime of love and happiness.


Remember to tune into our next podcast episode where we delve deeper into these topics, providing practical advice, sharing personal stories, and answering your questions. Until then, may your engagement be filled with love, understanding, and deepening intimacy!

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