Let’s face it—sex toys in a Christian marriage can feel like a bit of a taboo topic. But if you’re here, you’re likely asking questions, maybe a little curious, or just wanting to make sure your bedroom choices honor God. And that’s great! The Bible encourages us to seek wisdom and align every part of our lives—including our intimacy—with His design. So, let’s dive into what the Bible says (and doesn’t say) about sex toys.
What Does the Bible Say About Sex Toys?
The short answer: nothing directly. You won’t find a verse that explicitly gives a thumbs-up or a hard no. But what you will find are principles that help guide Christian couples as they navigate decisions about intimacy, including whether or not sex toys have a place in their marriage.
Biblical Principles for Intimacy
Sex is a sacred gift from God, designed to unite a husband and wife emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Here are some guiding principles to consider:
Sex Should Honor God Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), which means everything we do, including how we express intimacy, should glorify Him. Ask yourself: Does this decision honor God’s design for marriage?
Sex Should Be Loving and Selfless 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 reminds us that sex is about mutual care and enjoyment. It’s not about meeting just one spouse’s needs but fostering a connection that honors both.
Sex Should Unify Genesis 2:24 speaks of two becoming one flesh. Sex should draw you closer as a couple, deepening your unity—not creating division, shame, or dependency on something outside your relationship.
Sex is Designed for Pleasure and Connection Proverbs 5:18-19 celebrates the joy and delight of marital intimacy. Yes, God designed sex to feel good, strengthening the emotional and physical bond between husband and wife.
Is It Okay for Christian Couples to Use Sex Toys?
Using sex toys in marriage isn’t inherently sinful, but the decision should be approached with wisdom, prayer, and open communication. Here are a few questions to help guide your choice:
Does it align with your values? Is this decision something you both feel comfortable with as a couple, knowing your marriage is centered on Christ?
Is it loving and respectful? Are both you and your spouse on board? Mutual consent and understanding are key.
Does it enrich your marriage? As 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says, “Everything is permissible—but not everything is beneficial.” Is this helping your marriage grow, or is it introducing tension or insecurity?
Is it free from past struggles? If you or your spouse have struggled with pornography or sexual addiction, sex toys might not be the healthiest choice. They could risk triggering unhealthy patterns or depersonalizing your intimacy.
Navigating the Decision Together
If you’re considering introducing sex toys, here are some practical tips:
Pray About It Seriously, bring it before the Lord. Ask for clarity and peace in your decision-making.
Communicate Openly Sit down with your spouse and have an honest conversation. What are your hopes, hesitations, or boundaries?
Set Boundaries Decide together what’s okay and what’s not. Are there specific types of toys or scenarios that feel off-limits?
Be Flexible If one of you feels unsure or uncomfortable, it’s okay to wait or revisit the conversation later. Marriage is a long journey, and intimacy evolves over time.
At the end of the day, the goal of marital intimacy is to reflect God’s love and deepen your connection as a couple. Whether or not sex toys fit into that framework is something only you and your spouse can decide—together, prayerfully, and with mutual respect. Whatever you choose, keep the focus on honoring God, loving each other well, and enjoying the beautiful gift of intimacy He’s given you.
And if you want to dive deeper into this topic, check out our podcast episodes 147-148 where we cover this in depth. It’s real, it’s relatable, and it’s all about helping you build a marriage that thrives!
If you want some do's and don'ts of sex toys, check out this article.
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